Broken Relationships
As far as I am concerned there is nothing more
painful than when relationships break down.
This could be relationship between husband and
wife, parents and children, church members,
and relationships between siblings. But
the good news is that you can fix broken
relationships.
First, you need to be realistic and remember
that not every broken relationship can be
fixed. Just because you are willing to
forgive does not turn others into safe
people. But forgiveness is mandatory.
"For if you forgive men when they sin
against you, your heavenly Father will also
forgive you. But if you do not forgive
men their sins, your Father will not forgive
your sins." (Matthew 6:14-15) Though
reconciliation is conditional. "If
it is possible, as far as it depends on you,
live at peace with everyone." (Romans
12:18-19) Just because you are willing to grow
doesn't mean that others will be turned into
mature people.
Secondly, ask yourself the following big
questions: What is going on in my
heart? Yes, I said your heart. You
need to avoid compounding evil and seek
righteous responses. "Do not be
overcome by evil, but overcome evil with
good." (Romans 12:21)
( 1) You need to grieve your losses. That
is hard, I know all too well. This healing of
relationships is something I myself have
struggled for a long time. I harbored
bitterness and resentment against my dad and
my siblings. Only recently was I able to
come to the realization that just maybe these
relationships were not to be.
( 2) Repent, you may be part of this
dysfunction and maybe you reacted toward the
betrayal in the wrong way.
(3) Forgive, that is really the healthy way
to relieve the pain. It isn't easy,
though. Don't expect all of this to
happen overnight. The second big question to
ask yourself: What is going on in their heart?
"Even a child is known by his actions, by
whether his conduct is pure and right."
(Proverbs 20:11) and "Thus, by their
fruit you will recognize them." (Matthew
7:20)
Go slowly and don't settle for reunion at the
expense of renewal. "It is not good to
have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty
and miss the way." (Proverbs 19:2)
You should look for signs such as godly
sorrow, honesty and follow through. Look
at what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 7:10
"Godly sorrow brings repentance that
leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but
worldly sorrow brings death."
Redefine the relationship and change the way
you look at your pain. Practice grace. Refuse
to live in the past.
Personally, I have tried to mend these broken
relationships but when I realized that it is a
"two-way" street and they really
didn't want reconciliation, I had to move on
with my life. They were not believers and as I
mentioned above maybe these relationships were
not healthy ones. They were hindering my
growth as a Christian and I didn't want to put
any obstacles in the way of my following
Jesus. My relationship with Him is
definitely more important, don't you agree?
To God be the Glory, great things He has done.
Lovingly in Christ,
Carole
"The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in Him...
My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks
to Him in song" (Psalm 28:7)
