Scars

                              Scars

Scars. What about scars? What have I got to say about scars? Well, when I was young, I had chicken pox and for those of you who had experienced that will know that you're not suppose to even scratch them, or else it would leave a mark/blemish permanently. No matter how hard I tried not to scratch it, somehow it became so irritating and at that point of time, I never thought of the consequences and I just scratch it. Thus, currently I have to face the consequences..I
had a few scars that reminded me of my own actions.

Of course, the wounds are healed but the scars would always be there. I was just thinking, could I be wrong if I were to quote (in my own words), "The wounds will eventually heal, but the scars will always be there." I'm not trying to sound negative or pessimistic here, but merely stating the fact. What I'm trying to say is this: When we had undergone a certain traumatic experience, after a couple of years, we are healed from the incident but somehow, somehow...we could never forget that particular incident. It's like you're all right by now, but you just can't forget the whole incident. These scars that I'm talking about are not physical scars but rather a scar that cannot be seen, and it's *poisonous*, if we don't deal with it quickly and immediately.

I've once heard a pastor said, "Only God can heal those scars." How true! The road to recovery? Well .... here's a suggestion, but the ultimate healer is still God himself.

1. Acknowledge you're hurt and pour everything to God

Keeping inside won't do you any good. If you keep inside your heart, it's like suppressing your feelings. Tell God someone hurt you, or you're bitter over the whole incident, and you can even tell God you feel like taking revenge...etc. Honesty is the *only* policy, my friends (not only the *best*). God wants to know what is going on in our hearts. Take David and his Psalms, it's full of confession and acknowledgement. He even told God to punish his enemies.

2. Determine in your heart to forgive and forget

It's definitely not easy, I know. There will come a point where we have to make a choice and decision to "forgive and forget." During this stage, we ought to always turn back to God whenever the feeling of hatred comes back. It is a process. For this one, I'll give my example. It took me a few years to forgive someone whom I thought was dear to me. A few years to get over it! Yo! When I look back now, it no longer hurts but I can laugh at it. Praise be unto God! Once you let God deal with it, NOTHING is impossible. A very dear sister had the same experience and I'm glad (in fact, very glad) that I'm not the only one who had gone through that experience. It took Jacob and Esau years to reconcile, right? That means to say that, God is working in both their lives and finally they met and hugged each other (cf. Gen 33:4).

3. Fill your empty/spare time with activities/work

This way, you can concentrate what is more meaningful and important in life. Remember, "An empty mind is the devil's workshop." Friends are very, very important in this process. It is your friend(s) who will support you all the way.   Parents and siblings are of course, important but I *personally* feel that there is nothing compared to Godly friend(s) [cf. Ecclesiastes 4:10 & 12].

During my *lowest* moment in my life in Australia, my friend was with me. We sat together on the sofa...silent...no words, no talks....just sitting side by side, until the wee hours in the morning. What a wonderful experience! She didn't do much, and yet she had done a lot. Oh yes, BTW, listening to worldly songs/music won't help either. They will only add to depression, get what I mean? Instead, listen to Praise & Worship songs.

4. Above all, recognize that there is a God--[Isaiah 7:9b "If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all."]

Allow God to change us. Don't shut the door. There is also a saying that goes, "When God shuts the door, somewhere there is an open window" -- many times we concentrate on the closed door, forgetting that our God is an awesome God.

Having said all these, may I stress that it is a "process." Time is all it takes to heal. God is merciful and he knows we human beings are limited and He will give us the grace to sustain these things.

[Isaiah 43:18-19, "Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See, I'm doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."]

                                 Grace and peace,
                                          Elaine

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