I do not believe that Christians are exempt from suffering. My husband recently mentioned to me that everywhere he has read, the disciples, prophets and others in the bible suffered for the sake of Christ. Many had afflictions that they asked to have removed but God chose for them to keep them. Yes, there were also the blessings of serving Him (joy, peace, happiness and a knowing that you are in His will). I fully believe and trust God for a healing but I know it will be in His way and His time. I endure and seek to serve Him with the resources and physical being that I have today.

I have arthritis that affects every part of my body (Spondyloarthropathy and Polyarthritis). For more information, there will be links on the Support Page. Though not diagnosed till later in life, it started as a child, ignored as a young adult and finally officially diagnosed by a rheumatologist in 1987. When I grew up, you weren’t rushed with every ache and pain to doctor. Most children received their annual checkups from the school doctor. Growing pains is what you had if you were hurting or you used muscles that had not been used in a long time. Gym was not always easy and any exercise left me with sore muscles and joints. Though, I did sports, I tired easy but I continued on, as I wanted to keep up with my peers.

As I approached thirty, my hands began to ache more (not being in school now, not a big letter writer, I could no longer blame it on writer’s cramp). I would explain it off as an inheritance from my mother, whom, though not diagnosed (she never went to the doctor), had arthritis in many of her joints but she never told anyone she was hurting, you just saw it.

I stopped mentioning that I might have arthritis when a woman at a church I was attending, told me that it was sin in my life. She said the bible spoke of “bitterness and resentment” drying up the bones and that is where arthritis came from. I became more silent about what I had, I stopped asking for prayer and I refused to see a physician to get help.

Then, came the day that I could no longer live in denial and I had to seek medical treatment. I could not function at my job because the pain was so intense. I went to a rheumatologist, who tried many medications (some caused ulcers). We finally found one that worked for me. I was out of work for six weeks, until the medication began to get into my system and bring relief. It brought some relief and I was able to maintain a work schedule and still do other things after work but I still tired easy and many nights, I would come home from work and go straight to bed to rest so I could work the next day. When I went shopping, my hips would ache; I blamed it on the concrete floor or that my shoes were not supportive enough. I no longer denied the arthritis but I did continue to excuse away the symptoms.

I worked with the doctor, praying and seeking a healing. My arthritis went into remission and I began to wean off the medication. I was discharged from the rheumatologist after less than two years. I was praising God and feeling really great. Though, I was better, I found that walking bothered me and so I began to look for another way to exercise. I always enjoyed roller-skating as a child and teen and found roller blades quite interesting. So, I bought an inexpensive pair and set out to try it. I found that I could roller blade for longer than I could walk and when my joints would begin to ache, I could just glide along.

I found a job as a receptionist, which required less strain on my joints and I didn’t have to work long hours. I retired early from this position to stay at home (though, I did go in to help out for short periods). After almost two years of rest, I returned back to work and continued to work for a year and a half. Then the pain began again!

One day as I got into my car to drive to work, the pain was intense before I reached work. After three hours at work, I had to go home. I began to go to different doctors but they could offer me no relief, just that it was osteoarthritis, probably. The pain got worse and I’d cry day and night, awake for four days at a time, praying for an end to the pain. Nothing eased the pain.

The words of that woman from the church came back at me. I sought God to see if I had any bitterness, resentment, anything that might be the cause. I confessed any and every negative thought that I had but no relief. Though, I trusted in God, I grew weary, tired easily and became very discouraged. My friends encouraged me to go forward, keep trusting and keep seeking to find a doctor that would diagnose me.

Finally, came the day, I had to face reality and call the rheumatologist I knew that this time, I’d have to follow his direction which meant medication again. I was diagnosed with not just the arthritis that I had before but now, there was more. The damage was done, and I was going to take a long road of recovery and much learning of patience.

For several years, I was unable to go out and even having company wore me out. So, I began to get more involved on the computer, working on web pages and talking with friends on the internet. My outings were mostly to doctors or hospitals and when I did get out, it was lying down in the back seat.

It’s near the end of 2008 and I praise God that I am so much more mobile. My medications that I take allows me to do more things and pain meds are not used as often. I get to go to church and prayer groups. I get to visit friends and have company over. I still have limitations and bad days but I thank God for all He is doing and trusting Him to do more.

I don’t claim to have all the answers, nor can I say that I follow always what I have learned (either directly from God, through His Word or from others). I would however, like to share them, that someone else might see hope, see the light at the end of the tunnel and be encouraged to keep going on.

When you suffer a trial, a stressful situation or a painful trial, you tend to feel all alone. God says, “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, He it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. (Deuteronomy 31:6). No one understands fully but Jesus does. We need to look to Jesus, who conquered all for us (Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2).

I try to not just follow the medical treatment but a spiritual one as well. I sing psalms, especially when I am feeling down and it always works to lift me up. I remember one time going through a trial many years ago that I thought would never end. Everyone at work was aware of the situation. It was a very stressful trial and they were all watching me to see how I responded to it. I didn’t want to cause anyone to turn from accepting Jesus or to cause any that knew Him to stumble. One day, I felt so overburdened and began to seek God on how to focus on Him more. A song came to my mind, “Hear my cry, O Lord; attend unto my prayer. From the ends of the earth, I will cry out to Thee, when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I”. As I began to hum it, my focus turned to God. I didn’t realize how much so until someone said to me, “gee, you are surely in a good mood today”. It took me by surprise, (I had totally focused on the Lord); I’d not noticed that my frown had turned to a smile and the weak hum was now very loud from within. It was then; I realized more than ever that indeed when we are weak; then He is strong in us (Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong…2 Corinthians 12:10).

I am pressing on to the end, the race set for me, to seek to achieve the crown the Lord has for me, be a witness for others to see and live to worship my Lord forever (Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain and every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air but I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway... 1 Corinthians 9:24-27).

We have a chat channel on Starlink-irc.org network and we get to fellowship with many from around the world. I get to talk to old friends that come to visit us as well as new ones we make almost ever day. We do prayer , starting bible study once a week and have a Bible Trivia room. We are starting our 4th year of Reading through the bible via email. If you are interested, email me (see Email below).

We have a nice house on a quiet road and I get to have all the rest I need. My dream of a swing is real and hangs between two trees where I can sit and read or crochet and listen to birds and other animals. We are next to a wild life preserve and get to see wild turkeys and deer occasionally! I have also taken up sewing and though, never to be a pro, I am really enjoying learning new things.

As for my attitude, God is working a healing there and I am pressing on to the mark (I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus - Philippians 3:14). I seek to be All God has for me to be, to use me to be a help to others, to be more attentive to their needs and to love all mankind. I try to speak words of encouragement to others that suffer pain, many far more than I. I try to pray more and spend more time in His Word, to grow in Him and be more of a witness of His Power available to us. If I can help just one person in a situation the same or worse than my own, to help them to focus on God more, it will be worth all I have been through and where I am now.

I maintain this website that I add only to as the Lord leads and hope that all who come there might be blessed by what is written. It is a talent that came from God and God alone. I give God all the Glory, all the Praise and Honor for what He has given me and allows me to do. I pray I might be found worthy to be called His child.

written by LindyM - updated 12/23/08

Or Visit Me Christian Chat Room

Back to Inspirations
Back to Main Page