Look - - -

                        What the Lord has done!

Our Heavenly Father,

   It is with thankful hearts that we come before Your throne today;.  thankful 

for Your goodness to us and for Your wonderful works You have done and are doing for us Your children.

   We pray, first of all, Father, for our men and women who are serving our country in the Military, who are sacrificing time away from their families to keep us safe here at home.  Bless and strengthen them, Lord, and keep them safe in Your protective arms and return them home to us soon, and we pray for our friends, loved ones,  our church family, for those in the hospitals, and for those of us who have family members who are sick, that You would touch all of these with Your wonderful healing hand, bringing good health to all that are so oppressed.  We pray for the salvation of  all of our unsaved loved ones, and those of our church family, and of the ones that read this testimony, that You would send forth Your angels to minister to them and to get them in the fold of safety before it's too late.

   Bless each one of these beautiful people that come by this site to read of Your wonderful works to me.  We pray Father, that You will take these words and send them forth to bless, comfort, save and uplift people who so enter here.  May we strive daily to please YOU in word and deed, so that Your Name might be glorified and honored, for we ask this in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ.     Amen  

   This is a story about the goodness of God and how He has directed the steps of 

my life, and the miracles He has given me. Now, the miracles I am talking about 

that God did for me, would not seem like great earth shattering miracles to you 

or anyone else, but to me they were very wonderful, and great and turned my life around a full 180 degrees and I praise and glorify my God for them.  You see, compared to the world we are living in today,  I was not an alcoholic; I was not crippled, sick or lame; I was never on drugs, prescribed or otherwise; I was never sexually abused, (maybe mentally abused would be more close to it, I never lived an immoral life - sounds like I am really a PLAIN JANE (or Peggy) don't it?  But let me go on.

   Many years ago now, I realized that due to certain events that had happened in my life, I had lost any real sense of my own identity.  All I had were roles I played or jobs I had  done. For example, I was a minister's wife, the children's mother, a bookkeeper on my job, etc., but who was I really?  Would the real ME that had been shut up so deep inside me ever get to come to the surface again?   I wondered!

   To begin with, I was born in the hills of Tennessee in a little sleepy town called Lafayette, TN way back in 1935, the third child and second daughter of my parents. By the time I was six years old, two more little ones were added to our family in the persons of my younger sister, Lamon and my baby brother Edward, born on April 30th., 1941.  At the time of his birth, my mom was a young widow, living with her dad,  trying her best to feed her little brood. Times were hard back then, we were very poor, it was just after the depression but both my mom and grandfather were hard workers and managed to keep a little food on the table.  Oh, we might get a little hungry now and then, but I remember the GOOD times I had as a child running and playing with my siblings.  My older brother Willard, six years my senior, would make us smaller children toys to play with.  I remember him making us some stiltz out of big tin cans and coat hangers and we had the most fun trying to walk on those cans.  We were a happy family.  Our mom would sing songs to us at night before we went to bed.(See Memorial Page to my birth mom!)

   But then my little world at that time came crumbling down around me, and what a crazy, mixed up world I found myself in at six years of age. 

   About two weeks after baby brother Edward was born, one morning bright and early at around 5:00 a m, the Sheriff of Macon County with two of his deputies broke into our little humble home, pushed my grandfather down, and started taking out the three younger sleeping children to a waiting car.  I was the oldest of the three children they took out to the car..  They took us to the jailhouse there in Lafayette and gave all of us a good scrubbing and put clean clothes on us and took us to a courtroom where we were taken from our mother's care and put in an orphanage in Nashville, TN.  That was during the time of the black market of small children and babies in Tennessee, to be sold to people that wanted to adopt babies.  Our mom cried and begged and pleaded for the Sheriff not to take her babies from her.  But they would not listen to her pleas.

   My younger sister and baby brother Edward got adopted out within three months of being placed in the home, so there I was at six years of age, left alone in a strange world, without any of my family. Where was my mommy? I wanted to find her, so ran away from the orphanage three times hunting my lost family.  Where were they? What had happened?  Why had I been taken from my family that I loved so well?  All these questions and more filled my troubled young mind. In present day circum- stances they would have child psychologists to help children thru traumatic changes in their lives, but not then.  The answers to my running away and other episodes at the home was good switchings from the matrons.  Up till that time I had not remembered anyone ever laying a hand of violence on me. 

    After trying different things like sending me to a schoolteacher's home to brush up on my schooling, at which time, she herself, tried to get me a new set of parents to move in with, and the next thing I knew I was back at the orphanage. The orphanage just  sort of gave up on me, I guess, and decided they would call the parents that had adopted my younger sister Lamon and ask  them if they would consider taking me too, because they could not handle me and my problems.  It seemed my younger sister Lamon had missed me so much during the year we were apart, her new parents said yes. During that one year I had been changed to different residences five times, so you can imagine what my little mind was going thru by then. I was a thoroughly confused homesick mixed up little child.  I was now seven. 

   Now these new people that are supposedly going to adopt me; they already have

Lamon and they just LOVED Lamon, but they were not really wanting ME, in fact, my new "mother" told me right from the start that they had taken me because the home called and told them that they could not do anything with me, and Lamon (now Judy) had missed me so much during the year we were apart that they said they would take me.

   Now, not only did I not know where my birth family was, but now I could not even keep my own identity!  I was now to be called Peggy! I was not Peggy, I was Lorene! I now was to be raised as someone I knew I wasn't!  From all the stress that had went on in my young life I also started having seizures along about this time. When these seizures started, mother was at her wit's end and told me later that she had been ready to send me back to the orphanage, but my adoptive Dad told her he sensed a need in my life for stability and they ought to keep me.   Thank God for Dads!!.  

   In reminiscing back thru the years of my childhood and teenage life,  it just seemed like everything I did in my NEW home was the WRONG  thing to do, for which I would always receive a whipping.  I was a very UNHAPPY child, crying quietly into my pillow nearly every night for a long time. As a little seven year old child, I could not understand  all the changes and events of my crazy mixed up life!

   My adoptive Dad was a very easygoing man, who never in his life laid a hand of correction upon my sister or me.  All he had to do was to talk to us when we needed it, and he did it so nicely that Judy and I wished sometimes that he would have paddled us instead of talking with us, because we all three would usually wind up crying.  He was such a gentle man as far as his girls were concerned. We were the apple of his eye.

    But my mom was another story.  I remember she made me be the one to "give in" to any argument Judy and I would have, whether or not I was right or wrong.  She said someone had to give in, so it might as well be me, since I was the oldest.  My new mom had my younger sister to watch me and report to her anything I did, so I got into trouble anyway I turned, no matter what I did. Mom openly showed her affection and love for Judy, but never ever showed me affection whatsoever, no hugs, no kisses.  I remember my sister and I shared the same bedroom with two beds in it and Mom would come in when we had got in bed and tuck my sister in, hug her real tight and kiss her goodnight and then leave the room, never even glancing over at me as if I weren't there at all.  I guess what I am trying to say mostly is that I absolutely felt NO LOVE from anyone since leaving my birth family, 

    After getting settled down in my new home, getting my physical and medical needs met, along with quite a bit of mom's recipe of "that good ole hickory tea" I received the stability my dad said I needed.  I did manage to grow up as normal on the outside as any other young girl of that day, mom seen to that, but my INNER SELF had suffered severe emotional scars from being torn away  from my beloved birth family where I knew I "belonged" and had been so very happy as a carefree child and being put in a home where I was so unhappy and felt so unwanted.  I went throughout the rest of my young years being very unhappy with life in general, burying all my hurts and misery deep down inside of me.  I closed myself up in a shell.  It seemed to be the only way I could survive in this new crazy world in which I found myself. Oh, I was performing all my normal duties, and acting like I should, like I said before, mom seen to that, but I just felt like a NOBODY,  just like a NOTHING!  I was worth NOTHING as a person, I thought.   

   Now, sincerely, I am not rehashing all this to make anyone feel bad at my 

"adoptive" parents.  They were wonderful church going people, who took my sister and me to church every Sunday.  I gave my heart to the Lord and joined the church when I was eight years old.  They gave us every advantage in life that they could, but as far as I was concerned, there was something missing in my life. They were simply good people trying the best they could to raise a "troubled" homesick kid and her nice little sister. I am just telling this to let you know what kind of shape my little mind was in at that time in my life which influenced my young adult life as well.  I can now see God's hand in directing my life down thru the years.  I have wondered at times, just where would I have been  today if God had not intervened in my affairs at that time in my life and directed my steps in giving me the wonderful parents He did.  God does everything in HIS own time and AT the RIGHT TIME and everything He does is GOOD and for OUR GOOD, regardless of how we feel about the circumstances we are in.  (See Memorial Page to my Adoptive parents!)

   My mother and I developed a great relationship later on after I grew up and had children of my own.  I even made a point of hugging and kissing her every time I see her.  I do so appreciate everything my parents did for me and I love them dearly and no one could ever take their place in my heart.  I've got more to go to heaven for now that they're there.

   Now, as you know, time does not stand still for anyone and life goes on, and I had not been gone from home a month when I met and fell in love with what I thought was the most handsome young man in the world! I thought to myself, "Well, finally here is someone who will love ONLY ME, and I will be the most important person in his life. Oh this wonderful young man would make up for all the hurts I had received in my life.  Now I could survive in my world!  I suppose I sort of had a mental picture of the two of us riding off into the sunset of life together so to speak.

   But here again, I was in for another lesson in the cold hard facts of life as I used to hear Porter Waggoner sing about!    My young man was a very handsome, very lovable, very outgoing person and I loved him dearly.

   He enjoyed life so much, he enjoyed the company of his preacher buddies, the church people enjoyed being with him so much.  He evangelized several years of our married life and was gone quite a bit. This man that I felt like God had given me to live happily ever after with did not seem like he belonged to me at all.  It seemed he didn't want to belong to anyone - he was his own man.  It took us ever so many years to adjust to each other's ways.  It has been and still is a wild, weird, exciting and bumpy ride, but I wouldn't trade anything for the trip and the lessons I have learned along the way.  We were raised so different, in totally different environments and we have had our ups and downs, good days and bad days, children sick, bills due, unwashed clothes, dirty dishes, church members needing attention, children needing attention, and last but not least, ME needing his undivided attention, his love, his touch, but then it seemed like he was always gone doing other things, and did not have any time left over for me or our family.   I learned somewhere along the ride that as a minister of God, he belongs to God and to God's people!  I had some hard lessons in life learning to share him - in fact, I hated sharing him with anyone!  I wanted this man that I loved all to myself!!  But I found out that He belonged to God and to God's people first of all.

   Well, it just seemed like to me that I just was not important to anyone, no one seemed to really CARE about ME, so here were some more deep feelings of heartache, loneliness, hopelessness, just deep down depression. I felt like the old Hee Haw song "If it wasn't for all the bad luck in my life, I wouldn't have any luck at all!"  I seemingly was not important to ANYONE!! I wanted so much to be IMPORTANT,  SPECIAL and LOVED by SOMEONE special. After all, we are all created by God with the need to love and to be loved.  We each want to be special to someone else. We want at least one other person in this world to think that we are very special, who looks upon us with fondness, affection, and physical attraction. Those desires are not wrong; they are created by God for our happiness. But I  felt like I was just a NOTHING!  a NOBODY!!  Not a soul in the world cared anything about ME, I thought!!!  

   I thought now not only was I not worthy of receiving my adoptive parents love and attention, but now the enemy of my soul was telling me that I was such a NOBODY that this handsome young man that I had given my life and heart to, the only person in the world that I felt like would have been truly ALL MINE was not that at all.  That he did not care enough about me to even want to be with me, that he would rather be with his minister friends, hunting, fishing or just spinning yarns with them..  I was really down and having the mother of pity parties!  You know  Satan knows each Christian's weakness and will really try his best to tear us down if we let him and I was letting him!

                              And MORE!!

   We had a regional meeting of our churches in our area, and on the way to church one night I would have to nearly scream out in pain when our car would hit a bump or turn a curve. At that meeting during the altar call, I received a miracle from my God!  There was a minister in the audience that gave a message out in tongues during the altar call, and while the message was being given out, I felt like a warm liquid was being poured out over my head and it dripped and oozed down all thru my body and when it came to my midsection, it stopped awhile and then went on down to my feet.  I looked up at my husband and said, "I've been healed!  I was really shocked to say the least - I had never ever went up in a prayer line for this ailment to be prayed for even.  Who was I to expect God to do anything for ME? 

   That has been about 35 years ago now folks, and I'm still healed today!  The best part of it was that not only was my physical pain taken away completely, never to return again, but it started a healing of the aches and pains of my heart, my inner self, which had been so scarred and tormented since the separation of my birth family at the age of six.  It started me thinking, "Well, I must be worth a LITTLE something for GOD to take notice of ME and to heal ME!"  ME, of all people, just a NOTHING and a NOBODY in my eyes!

   Well, about ten years later when my husband and I were pastoring a church in Chattanooga, where I was raised, I received word that an older SISTER of mine was searching for me. My was I ever so excited to say the least!  This was the older sister I remembered so well and had missed so much down through the years!  She had searched for her younger sisters and baby brother for 31 years.  When she was 19 years old, she had gotten married, and she and her husband had located our birth mom and older brother Willard, and together they had searched frantically, till our mom had died in 1968 without ever getting to see her three youngest children again in this life.  What a reunion our family is going to have when we all meet her in heaven!

   My older sister Gladys kept right on searching.  She was determined to find her lost family.  She could find no peace in her life till she did.  It seemed there was a Tennessee Law that kept her from finding us!   In fact, in the United States, with the exception of a few states, the adopted adult or his (her) birth family is denied the right to see the records of their birth or adoptions.  The records are sealed at the time of adoption forever, unless "good cause" is found to open them, of which a person's normal desire to learn the "truth of their origin" to learn "who they are" is not a good enough reason.

   These sealed records not only deny us adoptees our Civil Rights as citizens of the United States, but also our human rights to know who we are!  Where else in our free society is such secrecy condoned?  Being treated differently from those born with a heritage they have always had knowledge of . . . . and/or the freedom to investigate further if they so choose, is degrading and cruel to us adoptees.

   I really feel that I should have had the right to have been notified by the Human Services Dept that my older sister was searching for me when I reached my 21st birthday, an adult legally at that time.  She had already been searching for me for four years at that time. What an invasion of humanity!  To close up a human life in a vault somewhere and tell them "You can never know about your birth family or yourself in any way -  you do not even have the right to ask!"

   I had to fight the pain of not knowing who I was every day of my life - - of glancing at strangers on the street and wondering "could that be my older sister Gladys?" or "Could that young stranger there be my older brother Willard?" I would think these thoughts when I would see someone that I thought might resemble me in the least.

   The authorities told our sister Gladys that if she had been adopted, she could have received information on the records. .But it turned out that our younger brother's adoptive mom did write for information on his birth family and was told they did not think it would be wise to interfere with the other childrens lives.

   It happened that our youngest brother's parents both died when he was just 13 years old and instead of getting to go to his birth family who really loved him and wanted him and was searching for him, he was put in the custody of a legal guardian, whom his adoptive mom had to name after writing and being turned down on information about his birth family.  So it would seem that the state law did not even help like it was supposed to for adopted children, either.

   Finally, as a last straw effort, Gladys contacted a lawyer whom she had 

used before, who had married a sister of a former TN Governor, she herself being a State Senator.  He gave his wife my sister's letter and she carried the matter before the TN State Legislature along with other similar cases and in June of 1983 God worked another miracle in my life!  He had the Tennessee State Law changed for 30 days only in May/June of 1983!

   That anyone who had adopted siblings in cases 26 years old or older, could

come to court during those 30 days and the case would be reviewed and the records opened and if the judge OK'd it, the Human Services Dept would contact the adopted siblings and get the family back together if all the parties agreed to it.

   After a separation of 42 years,  my sister and I were finally reunited with our beloved birth family in October of 1983!  Needless to say, I was about the happiest person in the whole wide world at that time! Visit our Reunion page!

   My birth family and I lean toward the reason of our being taken from our mother to be the Black Market of Babies because: 

1) We had a new baby in the family,

2) He was adopted to an older couple, both 48 years old who lived out    

    of state in Texas, later moving to New Mexico.

3) My sister Gladys and I have searched diligently at the Courthouse of    

    Macon County, TN for any and all records of that year pertaining to us,  

    and conveniently, as it would seem, this is the only record book missing,    

    they tell us.

   They told us that the Courthouse had burned and several record books had been destroyed, but out in the Courtyard, there was a historical marker telling of the last burning of the Courthouse in 1933.  This was 1941 records we were looking for.

   Also, we went to the Newspaper Office thinking if anyone can get to the bottom of anything it surely would be a reporter, right? They reassured us emphatically that

they would find out what was going on!  We left our names and addresses with them, in great anticipation of receiving good news, and never have heard to this day from them. 

   Apart from the fact that I did not get to see my beloved little birth mother that I had held in my memory down through the years, I believe I was the happiest 

person in the whole wide world when our family was reunited!

   This miracle God did for our family made a complete brand-new person out of me! My life did a 180% turn at this time. Everyone, my husband, my children, and our church family noticed a change in me.  Now I was a much happier person.  I was no longer inhibited by feelings of self doubt and unworthiness. Why I was now SOMEBODY!!   The great God of the whole universe had taken time out from His busy schedule of running the universe  to heal me! And now bringing my beloved birth family back to me. 

   No longer would I have to go through life pretending to be someone I knew I wasn't!  My adoptive parents had adopted me ---changing my name and my identity and as the years went by I even forgot my last birth name ----I couldn't even remember who I was!!

  But now I could be ME and feel good about it!  Because of God working some miracles in my life!  I had buried down deep within my soul any thoughts of ever getting to see my birth family again.   As far as I was concerned it was so impossible it would never become a reality in my lifetime. But now God had done the impossi- ble!  My older sister had been searching for us for 31 years with no idea how to get the Tennessee State Law changed but my God knew what had to be done to accom- plish it.

   Now folks, I had always been pretty proud of making good grades, not the best mind you, but good, but I sure did find out that I was a slow learner when it came to learning the lessons of life, because it suddenly dawned on me WHO I was really special to!  It is JESUS!  He really cared about ME even with my faults and hangups in life - - - JESUS had taken notice of ME and granted ME, a "NOBODY" in my eyes - - - the deepest desire of my heart, that of being reunited with my birth family - - - to find out who I really was - - - TO FIND MYSELF!!   It didn't really matter to me anymore at all whether or not I was SPECIAL to anyone else!  I was SPECIAL to JESUS!  Jesus truly became my ALL in ALL!

   I asked my minister husband why God performed miracles in the first place.  What was the reason?  Just being curious you know.  Why would God ever look down and say, "Hey, today, I think I'm going to do something special for Peggy!  Who was I to get these beautiful bountiful blessings from the great God of the universe? I of all people who was so UNWORTHY!  Well he told me that God performs miracles to bring into focus Jesus Christ as God's Annointed!  Well, that was just the perfect answer for me, because God working those miracles for me  sure did change my concept of Jesus Christ all right! 

   You know, I have been a member of the Church since I was eight years old. I have been taught in Sunday School Classes about this Jesus, I have heard sermons about this Jesus, and I had accepted this Jesus as my Savior at eight years of age, but you know it was a Savior that I thot was way up in heaven, that I just said a nightly prayer to before I went to bed. To me, He was this Jesus that I tried not to displease in any way with my life. I had to go by all the rules – I had a mental picture of God up in heaven holding a ball bat or something just waiting for me to do something wrong, so He could bop me with it!!   I somehow, did not know HE was in my heart and that Je REALLY LOVED ME, and I could have been pouring my heart out to HIM all along about what all was going wrong in my world right then.

    I’ll never forget the feeling I had when I realized that I - ME – MYSELF and I was important to God! I had wanted to be special and important to some person – but God made me realize that HE could fill any vacuum that I had in my life with His love and presence and that is exactly what He did. This Jesus knows all about ME, and to beat it all, HE LOVES ME ANYWAY!  just as I am, with my faults and my hang-ups in life---the little Peggy that had grown up feeling so unloved, so unwanted, not really understanding what LOVE is, not being able to give love  - JESUS had taken notice of ME and granted ME, a "NOBODY" and a "NOTHING" in my eyes --- the deepest desire of my heart, that of being reunited with my birth family---to find out who I really was.  TO FIND MYSELF AS A PERSON!  

All of a sudden I felt VERY SPECIAL to THIS JESUS! It was as if I could FEEL HIS ARMS around me!  Somehow, it didn’t matter to me anymore, if anyone else cared about me or not – I knew JESUS LOVED ME!  He became my all in all!

    He will help me, HE will NEVER EVER LEAVE ME, nor FORSAKE ME, I will NEVER BE SNATCHED OUT OF HIS CARE, as I was from my birth family. 

Romans 8:38-39 says – “For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, not height, not depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” .Oh, this JESUS is going to stick to me like glue, He will guide me through the rest of my life's journey. Never in my entire life had I felt SO LOVED!.

   I just want you to let the Lord fill your heart with HIS love. Tell HIM how much you love HIM! Let’s WORSHIP our LORD!

If you have gone through some hard knocks in life, and who hasn't?  If you have come to a crossroads in your life, and just seems like you don't know what to do or which way to turn, and Satan is tormenting you day & night..  It may be in your body, you need healing, he may be tormenting your mind, or your emotions like he did me, or in your relationships with your loved ones. Satan is out to kill, steal and destroy your life! Jesus came that we might have life and yes even have it more abundantly!!  JESUS is the answer to your every need!

       Oh at the years of my life that I did not know this Jesus was really with me all the way of my journey and not way up there in Heaven – glancing down every once in awhile to see if I am still doing RIGHT – oh but now He is my very own personal Savior as He wants to be to YOU.  He is my parents love that I didn't have, he is my constant companion I can talk to when I am lonely for my companion.  He is my ALL in ALL - whatever I need He is in my life!  Praise His Name!!!   . 

     He wants YOU to talk with HIM, telling HIM your thoughts about your life, your ambitions, your hopes, your family life, etc.  He wants you to tell Him what is wrong in your world; what is bothering you! .  Oh, I know HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT US ANYWAY - but HE wants US to talk with HIM and tell HIM how we feel!   HE IS TRULY INTERESTED IN EACH ONE OF US. EACH ONE OF GOD'S CHILDREN ARE VERY SPECIAL TO HIM!!!  Then when we talk with HIM, then before long, if we continue to meditate on HIM, a thought will come to your mind about what to do about your problem.  Study your Bible, I have found so many answers to my life's problem, when I went to HIS WORD!  He created us and He LOVES US!  There’s nothing GOD can’t do or wouldn’t do to help HIS CHILDREN!  

Look up and believe  - reach out and receive!!. . He is the great I AM – whatever you need – HE IS!!

                         WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN  JESUS!

   Because JESUS arose from death and the grave, and is ALIVE and WELL, there is NO situation in our lives that is ever hopeless!  In finding myself as a person, I find that NOW I know a God who loves me JUST AS I AM, even with all my little hang-ups and funny TN ways, enough to send His Son to give His life for ME that I might enjoy life everlasting with Him in glory at the end of my life's journey.

   And you know, It's a journey in which I don't know what lies ahead for me, but HE KNOWS, and I can rest in peace, knowing I am truly LOVED by the FATHER, I am truly loved by HIS SON and I'm truly loved by the HOLY SPIRIT and . . WHAT- EVER comes my way, I know from my own  life's experiences that . 

. . .

"All things work together for GOOD to them that LOVE the LORD!!  (Romans 8:28)

    And you know something else that will probably shock you? ~I would not change one single thing in my life~I thank God for giving me the tests and trials He gave me, I have seen some people in my lifetime that had lots worse to go through than I had and everything that happened in my life has helped to mold and shape me into the person that I am today. .I still love to sing, play, shout and share Jesus with others. 

        I believe that I am a stronger person for the trials that God has brought me through and I have learned that I do not have to face my trials alone. .Jesus longs for you and me to call upon Him...and hold His hand as we walk through the "valleys" of our lives.

               He has promised NEVER to LEAVE ME nor FORSAKE ME and He won't 

                    leave or forsake you either!! You are precious to HIM!!

May I Present Jesus to You?

10 Reasons to Believe in the Christian Faith

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Mohammed verses Christ

Peggy's Writings & Inspirationals

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