More Blonde Jokes

Q - Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
A - She was trying to make up her mind.

Q - Why did the blonde move out of her house?
A - She heard that 90 percent of all crimes happen around the home.

Q - What do you call a freezer full of blondes?
A - Frosted flakes.

Q - Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed with her?
A - She wanted to see how long she slept.

Q - What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A - "Look, they're not so smart...they spelled MACY's wrong!:

Q - Why can't blondes take coffee breaks at work?
A - They're too hard to retrain.

Q - What do you call nine blondes standing in a circle?
A - A dope ring.

Q - Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
A - Because they can't fit the bottle into the typewriter.

Q - How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer?
A - There is 'White-Out' on the monitor!

Q - What do you call a smart blonde?
A - A golden retriever.

Q - What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean?
A - An air pocket.

Q - A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in the third grade.
Which one is the biggest?
A - The blonde.
Q - Why?
A - Because she's 18 years old.

Q - What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A - A "whine" cellar.

Q - Why do blondes have TGIF printed on their shoes?
A = It stands for "Toes Go In First."

Q - Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A - It took her months to figure out that she could play it at night.

She was so blonde that if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
She was so blonde that she thought a quarterback was a refund.
She was so blonde that she tripped over the cordless phone.

Q - What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A - Pregnant with twins.

Q - Why can't blondes dial 911?
A - They can't find the eleven on the phone.

Q - Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work?
A - In case they have to draw blood.

Q - Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
A - Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Q - Why was the blonde reviewing the ABCs?
A - She was studying for a multiple choice test.

Q - Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads?
A - They want to measure their intelligence.

Q - Why do blondes stand under light bulbs?
A - It's the closest they'll come to a bright idea.

Did you hear about the two blondes that were found
frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "CLOSED FOR WINTER"

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."

Her friend asks, "What is it a puzzle of?"

The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle pieces spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says, "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger. Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

A Judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About 4 acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded.

"I mean what are your relations like," he continued.

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town and so do my husbands parents."

The Judge responded, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she said, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am does you husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally in frustration the Judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied, "I never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."

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