Birth Stories
I have been requested to post my birth stories but bear with me as it may take awhile to get them all up.
Caitlin ~ Hospital birth, fairly low intervention
Colton ~ Hospital birth, fairly low intervention
Ginny ~ Hospital birth (unassisted!)
Isaiah ~ Midwife assisted home birth
Madelynn ~ First unassisted home birth
Caitlin Sylvia Patricia
Born at 10:15 p.m. on October 6th 1991
7 lbs., 8 oz. and 19 inches long
I was 19 years old and living in a one-bedroom apartment by myself. On October 5th, 1991 I was laying on my bed crying my eyes out and praying for my pregnancy to end. I wasn¡¦t even due for two more weeks but I knew that I couldn¡¦t handle another day of pregnancy. I was huge, I had been sick for the entire nine months and I was so lonely.
I got control of myself, and got up to use the bathroom, AGAIN! I made it from the carpeted hallway to the linoleum of the bathroom floor when all of a sudden POP, GUSH¡K Yep, my water broke! Of course being my first baby I had to spend a few minutes trying to figure out if this was amniotic fluid or pee and when I finally determined that it was indeed my bag of waters I got really excited! It was 10:00 p.m.
I called my mom and my doctor, who told me to come in immediately so I tidied up my little apartment while waiting for my mom to come and pick me up. When she buzzed my rooms, I was ready and came down, carrying my overnight bag, my birds in their cage, the trash, and the perishable food from my fridge. I felt in control and on top of things¡K Too bad that couldn¡¦t last!
Upon arriving at the hospital I had to submit myself to the mandatory pelvic exam and external fetal monitoring but I was then told to go home and relax. ¡§Come back when you are in labour or in twelve hours, whichever comes first.¡¨
I went to my mom¡¦s house had some yogurt and tried unsuccessfully to sleep. No contractions yet, just excited. When they finally started they were mild and 10 minutes apart. We waited as they got stronger and when they were 5 minutes apart we went back to the hospital. It was now 7:00 a.m., Sunday, October 6th. As soon as I got into the hospital my labour stopped. One of the nurses told me that it happened a lot. She felt it was because once a labouring woman reached the hospital she relaxed. I had my own theory but kept it to myself¡K I definitely was not relaxed, though.
They hooked me up to fetal monitors but I am eternally grateful that they didn¡¦t use pitocin IV¡¦s as part of their policy like so many hospitals do. My mother and my pastor¡¦s wife were my labour coaches and they were great. I had a lot of back labour due to the baby being posterior but Pat, the pastor¡¦s wife had been through the same thing only 2 months before and knew instinctively what I needed. I came out with a huge bruise on my lower back but and Pat had one sore arm to deal with for the next little while. The counter pressure did take away almost all of the pain but soon she had to go be with her little nursling and my mom seemed afraid to hurt me, never pushed hard enough to ease the pain.
Soon after this when my mom stepped out for a cigarette and left me on my own a nurse came in and without a word rolled me over and stuck a needle in my butt! ¡§What are you doing? I don¡¦t want anything for the pain!¡¨ I objected. Apparently my screaming had convinced them otherwise because she informed me that I didn¡¦t know what I wanted and left.
My mom was furious but soon after when I began to lose control again she begged them to give me another shot of Demerol. They complied, I think gratefully, and at that point we all discovered that I am allergic to Demerol. I began violently vomiting and they were forced to remove the monitors and let me get up. It was then that I discovered that the reason I was unable to cope with the pain was because they had me strapped into a bed! After that, I began walking the halls and took a perverse satisfaction in leaving the nurses little puddles of puke to clean up all over the hallway.
I had no trouble staying on top of the pain after that. We would walk until a contraction came on and then I would lean against my mom, close my eyes and breathe through it while Pat put counter pressure on my back. Soon, I was exhausted and began sleeping between contractions in a recliner. A contraction would wake me up and I would reach for my mom¡¦s hand and lean towards her so that Pat could rub my back and then I would promptly fall back to sleep.
I am not sure how long that went on but I do remember at one point that a close friend of our family, who has since passed on, arrived with my dad bearing dinner. I woke up and gave him a really dirty look. I remember thinking, ¡§How can you think of food at a time like this?¡¨ He responded by holding out a sandwich and saying, ¡§Hoagie?¡¨ I did not find it amusing. I found out later that he had wanted to go out with my dad and find ¡¥the father¡¦ and bring him into the room and beat on him throughout all of my contractions.
I may not have found Rick¡¦s hoagie crack amusing but I did manage to retain my sense of humor until the end. At one point when a nurse came in asking, ¡§well are we doing anything, yet?¡¨ I responded by rolling my eyes and asking my mom if she would mind climbing out on the window ledge, ¡§the nurses are getting bored!¡¨
Finally, I found myself unable to rest between contractions and saying, ¡§I can¡¦t do this¡K I can¡¦t do this¡K¡¨ Hmmm, can you say transition??? The doctor checked me (he must have thought transition, too) and said that I was 4 cm. dilated and that he was going to go have some dinner. He left and a minute later I was pushing! The nurse was tolerant and checked but was soon screaming that the head had crowned!
Everyone came running, including the doctor, who hadn¡¦t even made it on to the elevator! They wheeled me to the delivery room and put me on the bed, feet in stirrups. ¡§PUSH, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10¡K¡¨ We had a head! ¡§PUSH, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10¡K¡¨ The head had a body. What an amazing feeling of relief!
I had a baby girl. Caitlin Sylvia Patricia. It was 10:15 p.m.
The doctor laid her in the cold metal tray and it promptly dropped to the ground. All I heard was a panic, a clatter and then the doctor saying calmly to my mom, ¡§Nice catch!¡¨ I was yelling to know what was happening to my baby but they just reassured me. I didn¡¦t find out until later! I guess the nurse had neglected to fasten the tray onto the bed properly. My mom caught the baby before she hit the floor.
Eventually they gave her to me for all of two seconds before taking her away to poke and prod her. I asked if I was supposed to push out the placenta now and was told that I could if I wanted to. I did and felt so much better! Briefly. I was informed that I would need stitches. I hadn¡¦t even known that I was given an episiotomy that was obviously unnecessary. The doctor began stitching me up and lost count of how many stitches he gave me at 35! Shots in the thigh and a bit of cleaning up and finally I was wheeled down the hall to a hospital room.
There was already a woman in the room, sleeping. She had given birth earlier in the day. They had brought Caitlin to the room with me but then they tried to leave with her. I asked to nurse her and was reluctantly allowed to try. Pat helped me but the nurse stood over us tapping her foot and looking at her watch. Not surprisingly, we were unsuccessful! They took her from me and started to wheel her away. When I protested they informed me it was ¡¥policy¡¦. Finally, I agreed on the condition that they bring her to me when she got hungry.
The next morning they brought her to me and she promptly threw up formula all over herself. I was livid. That night when they came and took the other lady¡¦s baby I refused to let them have Caitlin. They insisted that my roommate needed her rest but I was no longer doped up and I told them that they had better find her a private room then because my baby stayed with me. They came and got her in the middle of the night for tests and after an hour I heard her crying and went to find her. She hadn¡¦t even been tested yet and was in a little line up of babies waiting her turn. The nurses were not impressed when I insisted on holding her and stayed with her until they were done.
Over the few days in the hospital I was constantly in trouble. For nursing as long as she wanted, for not waking her up every two hours to nurse, for putting her in bed with me¡K the list goes on and on. They were furious that they couldn¡¦t boss me around! At one point I overdid it and collapsed while changing her. The nurse came in, put me to bed, roughly changed the baby and then stuck her back in her bassinet, screaming! I asked her to give the baby to me to comfort her and she told me I was SPOILING her! Then she left. I had to get up and get Caitlin myself.
Soon, though, we left the hospital to our little family bed and life of nursing on demand and baby wearing. I knew what I wanted for my baby and no one could talk me out of it!
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Colton Rocky James
Born at 6:45pm on July 25th 1994
7 lbs., 9 oz.
I was in an abusive relationship and not extremely happy to be pregnant again. I had taken two serious beatings during my pregnancy and I was insecure about the health of my baby. I started contracting on Monday morning, July 25th and went to the hospital at 7:00a.m. I didn¡¦t actually think that I was in labour but I was miserable and needed to have this baby. I guess I had it in my head that if I went to the hospital I would have the baby. I had had a lot of Braxton-Hicks in the last month of my pregnancy but my due date wasn¡¦t for another week.
My mom picked me up and we stopped at the father¡¦s apartment to let him know that I was in labour, my poor mother believed that I was and I think I had even convinced my self. I must have, because when the doctor examined me and said I wasn¡¦t, I lost it. I was an emotional wreck! I think the doctor (not the same one I had with Caitlin) probably thought that my emotional state of mind was worse for my baby then anything.
He stripped my membranes (BIG OUCH) and hooked me up to fetal monitors to see what would happen. I went into labour, that'¡¦ what happened!!! The father of my baby didn¡¦t show up until after work. He had also taken the time to have a beer with his boss. He got there around 1:00 p.m. I wish he had stayed away. He was verbally abusive whenever my mom was not in the room and sullen when she was. I do not remember much of my labour but I remember him calling me a SL*T when I got too hot and kicked off the blankets. I also remember PAIN! I was so tense. At one point my mom commented, jokingly that I had been a lot better at this the first time around.
Once again the doctor examined me, pronounced me 4 cm. dilated and announced he was going to grab some dinner. I lost it¡K ¡§ I can¡¦t do this¡K I can¡¦t do this¡K¡¨ hmmm, sound familiar? Could this be transition? The doctor apparently didn¡¦t think so because he went ahead and left. He was stepping off of the elevator in the lobby when the nurse paged him. I was pushing and he made it just in time to catch the baby. Once again, two pushes and the baby was out. I knew he was a boy from the ultrasound.
No episiotomy this time but I had a little tear¡K two stitches. I couldn¡¦t believe how much more quickly I healed, though. This time rooming in was the norm at the same hospital that I had Caitlin in and no one bugged me. Maybe because I wasn¡¦t 19?
Colton was beautiful and perfect and I nursed him on demand, picked him up whenever he cried and kept him in bed with Caitlin and me. Even so it was very hard to bond to him, mostly because of his father, I think. By the time he was one we had a good bonded relationship and when he was two I married the man of my dreams and the man who will always be the REAL father to my children. I also married his two beautiful daughters who are now mine as much as any of my biological children. They were one and three at the time and I thank God for them every day!
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Virginia Judy Diane
Born at 12:45 p.m. on Aug. 14th 1997
7 lbs. 14oz.
I went in for my regular prenatal visit feeling fine but when I mentioned to the doctor (not the same one from either of my previous two births) that my hands had been covered in purplish splotches the day before he seemed concerned. He checked my blood pressure and without explaining why ordered me to go into the hospital every day for non stress test, twice a week for blood tests and once a week for ultrasounds. This was way to much and I was very frustrated by the time my Wednesday appointment rolled around again.
The doctor informed me that he felt that I had a risk of preeclampsia and wanted to induce me the next day, three days ¡¥early¡¦. I agreed whole-heartedly as we have already established I hate the end of my pregnancies. My sweet husband took me shopping and bought me a dishwasher saying, ¡§Every mother of five needs a dishwasher¡¨ I didn¡¦t see the need to argue. Not just any dishwasher would do, though. It had to be turbo dishwasher with a built in garburater(SP?) „³insert manly grunting here„² Not a portable, no siree my hubby had to get the built in. He was going to build a cabinet around it, wire it to the breaker box and run the pipes right from the hot water tank to the dishwasher.
Why am I telling you all this? Because my birth story would not be complete with out letting you know that I came home from the hospital to a torn apart kitchen and no hot water. Three days later I had to go down to the basement to haul buckets of cold water up to the main floor because there was no water at all! Any woman who has her own ¡§Tim the tool man¡¨ knows what I mean!
ANYWAY, Getting back¡K I arrived at the hospital first thing the next morning and was immediately treated to a dose of gel on my cervix. I had to lay in bed and I was not a happy camper. Finally, I was allowed to get up and use the bathroom. The gel didn¡¦t work so I was given another dose that also didn¡¦t work. Finally I was put a pitocin IV. UH-OH¡K that worked.
At one point after what I felt was an unnecessarily rough pelvic exam I asked the doctor if he had lost his watch. I was NOT coping well with the pain. My darling husband said that at one point I screamed so loud and long that it looked like I was going to swallow my own head! Eventually the hospital staff was able to make out one word¡K EPIDURAL! I was informed that I was not allowed to have one until I was 4 cm. dilated.
Somehow we all survived until I was almost there and they gave me the long awaited epidural. After which the doctor examined me and said I was 4 cm. dilated and that he was going to lunch. Some thing clicked inside my head and I said, ¡§I wouldn¡¦t if I were you!¡¨ He didn¡¦t listen and left the building.
The next thing I knew I was pushing! I told the nurse who looked at me and said, ¡§wouldn¡¦t that be nice for you, Dearie?¡¨ I could have cheerfully strangled her! She felt a little foolish when she discovered that I had indeed somehow gone to 10 cm. in 2 contractions and was about to give birth.
They tried to page the doctor and the nurse begged me through the next three contractions not to push. My mom expressed concern that I would tear my cervix if I pushed and the nurse said, ¡§Oh no, she is fully dilated!¡¨ My mom looked at her in surprise and said, ¡§Then WHY can¡¦t she push?¡¨ the reply was that the doctor was not there. I caught a look of disgust on my mom¡¦s face but didn¡¦t think anything of it at the time. I started panting to prevent pushing and at that point the nurse regained some of her senses and said, ¡§good, that¡¦s good¡¨ Not good enough apparently because all of a sudden my baby girl slid out onto the bed!! For years my husband swore that the nurse caught her and I was sure no one did but one day I ran into her at the park and asked her. I won that argument.
My doctor came running in a few minutes later and I smiled at him, ¡§Nice of you to join us!¡¨
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Isaiah Robert Gary
Born at approximately 2:45 p.m., June 3rd 1999
8 lbs. exactly
Most of my labour with Isaiah is a blur to me. I have never been so exhausted in my life.
I was five days ¡¥late¡¦ and miserable. I wanted this pregnancy over and I wanted to hold the little baby boy that we were told we were having. Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, I got up to pee and my water broke. Chris got the bed ready with our shower curtains and some old sheets. I called the midwife to let her know that things were starting and went back to sleep. When we woke up again there was a lot of blood in my pad with the water and I proceeded to soak two more pads with bloody water. We called the midwife again and she said she would be there within the hour. I left the pads in the sink for her to examine.
By this time the kids were up and Chris started to fix them breakfast and bake muffins for the midwives. He was also tidying up around the house and trying to get the kids ready. I was mostly just sitting on the couch. My contractions had started, twenty minutes apart and mild, and I was over-whelmed by exhaustion. There wasn¡¦t really any reason for it, though.
My mom showed up shortly after the midwife, who decided the bleeding was an acceptable amount. Mom had opted to take the kids back to her house rather then being with me this time saying something about needing to retain her hearing into her old age. She packed up the kids and left to take Caitlin to school. I was finally able to relax.
We spent some time walking around the block and I would stop and lean on Chris during a contraction. We went back home and I wanted to get into the bath as planned but was told not to because the midwife felt it would slow my labour down (my contractions were still 20 minutes apart and mild). I went back to bed and soon after the back-up midwife arrived fresh from another birth and exhausted. She fell asleep across the hall from me.
I am not sure how long I slept. The midwife woke me up and insisted that we needed to do something to get things rolling. We did not want to do any internal exams and they were fairly sure that nothing was happening even though I felt that I was progressing. We discussed getting my toddler home to nurse but I refused. I was staying on top of the pain well and felt that I wouldn¡¦t be able to if Ginny was there.
They got me up and tried to make me eat something. I had no appetite and tried to refuse but soon my husband was sent to make me some toast with honey. I took one bite just as a contraction hit and then threw up! The midwife decided to check me probably wondering if I was in transition and found me 4 cm. dilated. They decided to give me an IV instead of forcing me to eat and drink and then discussed going for a late lunch.
I was NOT going to let them leave. They were sure that I would be fine and that the baby was going to take awhile in coming. I knew if they left I would be having the baby without them. I should have let them leave. It was decided that I would be put to bed and as I was walking towards the bedroom a contraction hit. I leaned on Chris but this time I started to moan deeply and try to squat. Once it passed, I went to the bathroom, emptied my bowels and bladder and then climbed into bed.
Another contraction hit right away and with it the urge to push! The midwife checked me and said I was 5 cm. I sobbed! ¡§I can¡¦t do this¡K I can¡¦t do this¡K¡¨ Two more contractions passed and then I WAS pushing. Not just an urge! I was checked again and told I had only a little lip! ¡§Can I push?¡¨ I was told to go ahead and I did! I was expecting to have a baby in two pushes but it did not happen that way this time. After a couple of pushes out came the biggest head I have ever seen on a newborn! Even the midwives commented on it.
For some reason after his head was delivered my contractions stopped. For four minutes we sat there and waited. Meanwhile, little Isaiah had a good look around and turned, not to the side like a good little partially birthed baby but, all the way around to look up at the ceiling. I had to push his shoulders out together when the next contraction finally hit but then the rest of him slid out easily and what a joy, he was handed to me. No one took him to poke and prod!
My beautiful baby boy. Daddy and I admired him and the midwives discreetly cleaned up a bit and checked him over. Finally he was laid on the bed between my legs and they examined him right there. He was weighed and wrapped and handed to Daddy. Soon after this my mom arrived having picked Caitlin up from school surprised to find that our precious little bundle on the OUTSIDE of my body! She admired him appropriately and then left. Caitlin remained in the car. I was bullied into taking a shot of pitocin because the back-up midwife had found out that the woman she had left to come to me had hemorrhaged and been taken to the hospital by the other midwife after she left.
It wasn¡¦t long before everyone left and daddy, Isaiah and I snuggled down for a good sleep.
I have a few regrets about this birth, mostly because I was not allowed to rest and let it happen. The midwives were worried because my water had broken and if I did not deliver within 24 hours I had to be transferred to the hospital. Chris was supposed to catch the baby but when the time came I forgot to let go of him! And finally, for not sticking to my guns about the pitocin and vitamin K shots. We did not allow any drops in his eyes, though. All in all though I was happy and felt that things had gone well. Well enough that we decided that homebirth was the only way to go!
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Madelynn Angela Peace
Born at approx. 9:00 am on Nov.8th, 2001
Weighing 8lbs. 5 oz
I was 11 days ¡¥late¡¦. This in itself is not noteworthy but the fact that I was comfortable with being late is! I was ready to have the baby but I didn¡¦t have the feelings of ¡§I can¡¦t do this anymore and I want this kid out NOW!¡¨ Chris on the other hand was not so comfortable. He was downright scared. His exact words were, ¡§I am afraid that we are going to end up with a dead baby!¡¨
I wanted to give him some peace of mind so I called the health food store and talked about some options and they gave me the number for a local doula. I called her and she came out that very day. She was so sweet and helpful. She palpitated my tummy and said the baby was ready to go but not engaged. That didn¡¦t surprise me since my babies are never engaged until I am in active labour. She took my blood pressure and we listened to the baby¡¦s heart. Before she left she gave me some labour tincture and a bag of motherwort tea. I took my first dose of labour tincture at 9:00pm and then we went to bed.
I had been having mild contractions all day. They felt different from the BH ones I had been having but now they started to really pick up and by 11:00 or so I had to get up. I put on some music and lit my candles and danced around a bit just loving the feeling of knowing I would be holding my baby in my arms soon! Soon I could tell that things were getting moving and I woke Chris up at 1:00am and filled the tub. Chris went to make coffee and then joined me in the bathroom. I stayed in the tub for a couple of hours until I had to go to the bathroom. I was sitting on the toilet when I started to shake really badly. My teeth were chattering and I was about to rattle right off the toilet. Chris thought I was cold and suggested I get back in the bath but I wanted my bed and nothing else!
I wiped and found a lot of blood on the toilet paper and when I got up the toilet was full of blood! Chris and I were racking our brains to try and remember if this was normal. I had had a lot of blood with Isaiah and the midwives said it was normal but this time my water hadn¡¦t broken yet and I wasn¡¦t sure. Finally, we decided that I felt fine and we would call Zoe, the midwife we had back before we moved in the morning. It was only 3:00am and we felt it could wait until morning. I went to bed and I think I was even able to sleep a bit before the contractions picked up with a vengeance!
I started trying different positions on the bed and finally found that by lying on my left side I was most comfortable. Soon we had a little routine going. I would lift my top leg slightly when a contraction hit and Chris would jump to action holding my leg up and putting counter-pressure on my back. I began to pray my way silently through the contractions. Soon I was not able to pray at the peak of my contractions and all I could do was repeat the words ¡§I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me¡¨ in my head over and over until the contraction passed. I would lay there saying ¡§thank you, Jesus!¡¨ over and over until the next wave came!
By this time the children were waking up and Chris had to run back and forth. He fixed them breakfast and put a movie on for them. I felt like I was going to throw up and was pretty sure I was in transition. There was no ¡§I can¡¦t do this¡K¡¨ this time I yelled, ¡§nooooooooooooooooo¡¨ and scared the daylights out of the children. It was the first time I vocalized. Soon I had the urge to push but because I had no one to tell me if I was fully dilated I waited for a few more contractions to see what my body would do.
I asked Chris to take a look and see what he could see on the next contraction and gave a tiny push. Unfortunately, Chris was looking REALLY closely and that little push happened to break my water! To give him credit he didn¡¦t really react to the fact that his face and chest were soaked with amniotic fluid. He told me later that he wanted to laugh but thought it wouldn¡¦t go over well with me if he did. I almost laughed but the next contraction hit on top of the last and I HAD to push!
We had both noticed that the fluid was green but there was no time to think about it. I pushed gently taking care to breathe normally through the pushes to bring the baby slowly and prevent tearing. It felt like I was pushing against a brick wall and I didn¡¦t feel the baby passing into the birth canal like I expected. I was used to a very short pushing stage. I am not sure how long it took but it felt like forever until I felt the baby descend. For the first time ever I felt the ¡§Ring of Fire¡¨ everyone talks about and IT HURT. Then the head appeared and Chris checked the neck for the cord, there was none. I pushed again and felt that amazing sense of release as the baby was born into Chris¡¦s hands.
He put her immediately on my chest and placed warm receiving blankets over her. After carefully covering me, and the blood on the sheets, with a blanket he kissed me and went to get the kids. They all filed in and stood at the end of the bed except Ginny, 4, who climbed right up and sat there staring at the baby. Soon the inevitable was asked, ¡§is it a girl or a boy?¡¨ We hadn¡¦t looked! A quick peek told us what I had known from the beginning. A girl! The kids started calling her Madelynn right away.
Isaiah, 2, was in Daddy¡¦s arms when Ginny disturbed the blankets and he saw the blood. ¡§Can you take me out, now?¡¨ He asked. A little later when Chris carried him back into the room he pointed at the bed where the blood was now covered again and said, ¡§Don¡¦t move that blanket!¡¨
Soon, I began having pains and passed the placenta into a bowl where we examined it and showed it to the kids who proclaimed it ¡§GROSS!¡¨
Now I was no longer attached to the baby and got up to get in a bath. I had goldenseal and garlic in the water and Caitlin brought me a tea of Shepherd¡¦s purse, motherwort, cinnamon, and honey. Chris sat beside me holding the baby with the placenta in a bowl next to him. After an hour he clamped and cut the cord, checked to be sure it had three distinct sections, and wrapped the placenta up for the freezer.
After my bath he bundled me up in Caitlin¡¦s double bed with Madelynn, the phone and some poached eggs on toast. By the time I had eaten he had our bed ready for me and I crept in between those clean sheets and took a much needed nap.
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