Gentle Shepherd
A word about Grieving
Written By: Sandy Brunson
One does not control feelings....just the actions that come from feelings. That is the place we bear some responsibility, but feelings just "suddenly" overtake us "out of the blue". It is only after they do that we have to make a choice of what to do with them.
I know all of us have felt like or maybe even taken some time to just "get in bed and pull the covers up over our heads." Some of us can't afford to do that with so many responsibilities abounding around us, now, more than ever. I think of you young widows who have little children for which you are responsible, and know that even when the pain is there...you still have the little ones to think about and care for, too.
Many say that "time" will heal....but time does nothing for us unless we sincerely turn to the Lord in the midst of our pain. Sometimes I do not "feel" like praying, but even then...I KNOW...that I desperately NEED God. In those times, I just lay there, still, almost unwilling to move but I just speak His Precious Name. Over and over and over again. At the Name of Jesus there is healing, peace, comfort, strength, and life. And when I am at my lowest, I just whisper His Name or put on some music to help my spirit and lead me to praise Him.
I remember one night about a year ago I was so low I thought I would drown in it. I was laying on my bed in the dark of the night of my soul and I just sat up and cried OUT LOUD (who is going to hear anyway?) "GOD!!!!! I CAN'T LIVE THIS WAY ANY LONGER!!! IT IS KILLING MY HEART!" It was more than the words....it was a sincere cry to the ONLY ONE who CAN do something to bring more healing to me. And within that week, I began to have the first stirrings of something akin to a "normal" feeling again....something I had not felt since before Mike died about 9 months earlier.
When we study the book of Job we find that Job came to the place at the end of the book where he said that he just "laid his hand over his mouth" meaning he came to the realization that he did not know ANYTHING in light of the Face of God and God's wisdom, and he was THROUGH trying to speak out words of his own "understanding". He finally deferred to God....even without a full answer for the suffering he had been through.
We commonly think of the book of Job as a book about suffering, but really that is not the deepest thing it is about. The book of Job is a book about our GOD! HE IS GOD and He is just. He is faithful and true....even though we do not understand all that happens in our lives. The bottom line is: WE NEED HIM! We are nothing apart from HIM, for it is HE that has made us and not we, ourselves. HE is God! We are not. We are at HIS mercy day by day, and the Word tells us that His mercy and love fail not. That his mercies and compassion's are new...every morning.
And though we do not fully "understand" why our loved ones are "gone from us".....we must understand that God IS Who He says He is, and what He says about Himself is still true. We just must CRY OUT in desperation to Him and lift up our hands to receive some of that "new every morning" mercy and compassion....drinking in a full cup to last us through the nights that surely come.
O, precious friends, there are no easy answers. There is just GOD, and HE is OUR GOD! Praise His Holy Name. Even in our pain we must praise HIM. HE is GOD. He, alone, is our peace and our portion forever. We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. HE is the strength of our heart!
I thank HIM for this list of dear ones who reach out in love and in compassion...as we suffer along with one another. That is "part" of His provision. I am grateful we can find some "understanding" from one another among this group....that, TOO, is "part" of His provision. I am glad that we are not judgmental nor insensitive to one another, for we need the care and encouragement of one another....we need places to be "listened to"....and that is "part" of His provision...part of His understanding being revealed to us.
But for the times we are not on the computer, nor with other dear family members and friends....when we are physically "all alone" in the night is the time we CRY OUT to Him both in desiring a "new morning portion" of His mercy and compassion and also remembering to just tell Him of our love for HIM and praising His Name in the midst of our suffering.
Our Jesus cried out to His Father on the cross of His suffering....and not only was He "heard", but He was resurrected by the power of Almighty God on the third day! We, too, will be resurrected from the suffering and "death" we are experiencing in our pain and sorrow. Some of us are in the process and are yielding to God's personal working in our hearts. And others of us are just learning that He wants to "resurrect" us from our sorrow and grief....a bit at a time, and surely He will do it in Spirit and in Truth!
I leave us with some of my favorite verses found in Ecclesiastes 3: "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to gain, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war and a time of peace.
.....He has made everything beautiful IN ITS TIME! Also, He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."
In our very real pain and suffering, we are to look to Him, this One Who died on the cross for our sins and sorrows. Jesus came to heal our hearts...but He has to have ALL the pieces. He patiently waits on us and never leaves us nor forsakes us.
Looking unto Him,
Sandy B.
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