"Life As A Pastor's Wife"

As Christians, we spend most of our lives misunderstood by the general population of "The World."  By "The World" I mean to say people who are "unchurched" and really don't have any understanding of what it means to be a Christian.  They see us refer to each other as "brother this" and "sister that" and they hear us talk about "The Body of Christ" of which we are all a part, and they don't get it.   So many people think that when you become a Christian you are some how stripped of your individuality and become some sort of mindless robot that can't think for yourself.   Proceeding with this point of view, they watch us closely - see us mess up sometimes - and judge for themselves that this "mindless robot body" isn't very effective.

Of course this description of Christianity is not at all what being a Christian is all about.

All "Christians" are not alike!  Each retains all their wonderful, individual, GOD given personality traits, (and some not so wonderful).
Each of us is a unique individual.   And guess what - we aren't perfect.
And "The World" delights in every opportunity to reveal that fact not only to you, but to everyone around you.  It's one of Satan's ways to attempt to destroy your witness.  Nobody ever said being a Christian was going to be easy - you must hold firm to:

  1. Who you are in CHRIST
  2. What you're doing for GOD
  3. Is your heart right and are your motives furthering the Kingdom of GOD and not yourself.

It's a difficult thing for a Christian to hold true to these three ideals when facing such scrutiny to be perfect - compounded with the "mindless robot" stereotyping.  You may be reading this now, and having faced these things, you may be giving me an AMEN about now.

NOW, consider all of these things: the "mindless robot" stereotyping, the constant scrutiny to be perfect, and add to that being married to the pastor, living in a house owned by the church, (so that you basically have NO privacy), and raising your children under not only the scrutiny of "The World," but also under the most critical eyes in the community!   No wonder many pastor's wives feel they need a support group!

It does seem, on the surface, that the family of a pastor has a heavy cross to bare.  You live on a shoe-string budget, you're always on call with NO days off, you never own your OWN home, and you can never loose your composure and yell at your kids, have your music too loud, or mow your yard in your bathing-suit to get a tan.  What?   You didn't think Christians ever did those things?

It seems that once "The Church" gets to know you and sees that you're "NOT what they expected," and once "The World" sees that you're not June Cleaver, they often begin to lose their respect for you.
Too many times they see you go to class and find "The Pastor" washing dishes or changing a diaper and all of the sudden you are, "NOT like any Pastor's wife I'VE ever seen!"

The problem is PERCEPTION.  What does the "Pastor's wife" perceive herself and her role in the church and in the world to be?  How does SHE answer the three questions I brought up earlier about herself?
(Go read them again).   Your answers to these three things are IMPORTANT - but equally important are what others PERCEIVE these three things in you to be.   No matter "Who you are" and "What you're doing" and no matter how "Pure your motives," if others don't PERCEIVE your efforts as HOLY - then you probably won't get very far.

NOW, who and what does "The Church" perceive her to be?  How do they interpret her actions and motives?  AHHH.   Here lies the problem.
Let me give you an example of both sides of thinking: